I am going to tell you something really important: something fundamental. So much so that the day I understood it, it changed the way I perceive the world.

Ready?

Love is not supposed to hurt.

If it hurts, something somewhere is off and needs to be reconsidered.

Let’s take a look:

If my love is possessive, I want what I love to belong to me.

Wanting to possess what I love is not good.

I know this because it makes me suffer.

When what I love displays symptoms of not really being mine, (which is inevitable, as you can’t own another person) it hurts.

It hurts a lot.

Or, if what I love allows itself to be possessed, this is worse, as I end up in a dynamic that will for certain become unhealthy.

If what I want goes against the grain of reality, I have to adjust this irrational thing that I want. The alternative is to suffer.

I’m a wimp. I don’t want to suffer.

So I offer to you one of the most important things I practice, like a life sentence, like a mantra, like an incantation.

Being possessive in a relationship is not good and as such everything, everything I love is free.