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What are the duties of a wife?

  1. Making sure your husband changes into nice clothes before the guests come over.
  2. Checking on point number one and telling your husband, “No, don’t wear that. Those colors don’t go together.”
  3. Making sure your husband understands and obtains the items on the shopping list.
  4. Making sure that your husband doesn’t tell that same stupid story once again to the guests when they come over.
  5. Making sure that your husband gets all essential chores done.
  6. Making sure your husband doesn’t forget details, such as transporting the kids to their events, how many kids you have, etc.
  7. Making sure that your husband has taken care of all the unspeakable details with the pets, especially cleaning the litter of the giant demon cat.
  8. Making sure your husband takes care of his health and hygiene by constant reminders about diet, dressing warmly, not missing any areas when shaving, and so on.
  9. Making sure your husband cleans up after himself, especially that mess of clothing tossed around on or near the bed.
  10. On the rare occasions points 1–9 are suitably addressed, bestowing love, affection, praise, smiles, and laughter with your beloved husband, and spending some time solving crosswords together.

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