If you and another person are “incompatible” it means you cannot happily live together.

It does not mean you are not “open to change” or that you “are not willing to put in the work”.

It often means you are absolutely, intensely wanting, fighting, struggling to make it work – all you want is for this to just work – but you cannot get there from here.

Relinquishing a characteristic that makes you incompatible feels like you are compromising not just your happiness but your identity.

If one of you is punctual and the other always late, you can negotiate a somewhat incongruous life with its own brand of rhythm.

But what if one of you is monogamous and the other polyamorous? What if one of you places a great deal of importance in material things and the other does not assign meaning to money? What if one is a systematic liar and the other requires honesty in order to function? What if one is deeply insecure and the other repeatedly hurt by being constantly doubted?

Is changing to meet your relationship’s demands making you a better person? Is it stretching you, contributing to your growth?

Or is it forcing you to be someone other than who you are?

Don’t believe “love conquers all.” It does not.