Ugh, yes I understand. Do you want to know who hurts me emotionally, hurts me so much it takes my breath away?

He does. He does, when he loves me his way and not my way.

My friend does, when he is a friend the way he knows how and not the way I want.

And him. Bastard. How could he not know how important that was to me?

And him. How did he not know I wanted that?

And that guy. Why didn’t he call when I felt so alone? Or why was he so insistent when I needed time to myself?

And this other guy. Why did he not understand, when I refused to explain? I mean, I shouldn’t have to.

Why did he not say what I needed to hear? I need to hear it and I want him to say it. Just say it. But I can’t tell you what. It just wouldn’t be the same, if it doesn’t spontaneously come from you.

I expect. I expect. I expect. An ocean, a vast ocean of expectations that drown me.

So, yeah.

I am the common denominator of everything that hurts me.

It stands to reason that the one who hurts me emotionally is me.

I could extract revenge and do something supremely self-destructive but I think the thing to do here is forgive. Forgive.

Forgive myself – and stop attributing anything that hurts me emotionally to others, when the problem here is me.