1. They enjoy relationships but aren’t desperate for them. Nothing as unattractive as desperation. Nothing as attractive as being happy in your own skin.
2. They direct relationships but don’t dominate them. If you don’t direct times for relationships you won’t have them. If you dominate them you won’t have them either.
3. They become a great conversationalist by listening more and talking less. People who rarely speak have few friends. People who talk unceasingly have even less.
4. They are interesting because they’re interested in others. They ask questions, affirm and look for connections. People who try to be interesting usually aren’t. Those who are interested surprisingly are.
5. They rarely are remembered as the life of the party. But are often remembered for being the life of a conversation. Centering attention on yourself rarely lasts. Centering attention on someone else does.
6. They would rather have relationships than always be right. Arguing every issue, to prove yourself right, usually proves you wrong. Giving room for others to be right, for the relationship, ends up right.
7. They offer apologies rather than excuses. We all mess up. I can attest to that big time. Those who try to pass the blame usually only end up blamed. Those who apologize end up appreciated.
8. They attack problems rather than others. In disagreements, some attack the other person and end up destroying the relationship. Others attack the issue and leave room for the relationship to grow.
9. They give the grace they want to receive. Relationships sometimes hurt. Often not intentionally. Some people never forget the hurts. Others forgive to move forward in the relationship.
10. They don’t sweat the small stuff. And remember it’s mostly small stuff. They don’t look for mistakes or read between the lines. Instead they appreciate the relationship and realize all else is small stuff.

I’ve made my share of mistakes in all of the above.

I’ve also learned number 7 well.

And I often say when I’ve screwed up, “Well, I was just stupid.”

It’s tough for someone to argue with me about that.

Happy, healthy relationships are a gift if you treat them as a treasure.

Article by Maureen< Maseno University. 

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